Violence, fighting, substance abuse, infidelity, are just a few things that can challenge or quickly destroy a relationship. If I am lucky enough to be your therapist we need to get honest about that from day one. These are all issues that can be confronted in work but it’s not easy. When everyone’s committed to doing the work, being willing to dig deep and get to what the real issue is, there’s room for tremendous growth.

In couples therapy the relationship gets the help it needs to grow by learning how to communicate well, disagree productively, how to get needs met, and address difficult issues. Through that process, vulnerabilities that each member of the relationship brings to the table are identified or explored in new ways.

Sometimes the question of whether or not both people in the relationship are committed to continue has to be discussed, however uncomfortable that may be. While as a couples therapist I won’t tell you what to do but if there’s uncertainty I can help both people explore the viability of the relationship as one that can meet everyone’s needs in the present and down the line as a strong and fair team!

We tend to understand a pre-condition of therapy as “having problems.” Sometimes that’s clear (fighting a lot, deeply disagreeing about fundamental matters) and sometimes there’s not much “wrong”–no problems, per se–and yet one or both participants in the relationship want more. More intimacy, fun, variety, sex, freedom, or a better partnership as parents. What’s great in these cases is that the work can be driven not by problems but by wanting–a powerful force for growth if we let it.

Give me a call today and let’s see what I can do to help!